February 2004

Speaking Ill Of The Dead   posted:   2-21-04

I've held off posting the following - out of shock - and wanting to get some confirmation.
(To better understand this unfolding incident - please begin by clicking here:  "Kris Died" .)

2-11-04 :  Saying Goodbye 

Weekly Safety Meeting:
It was announced this morning that Kris's family will hold a private ceremony followed by cremation. The announcement was made by Jill - North metro operations manager (I will be omitting last names and "exact" position titles.).

Jill, a very "sharp" and lovely person, shared with us how Kris had confided with her a couple weeks prior. Kris had told her that doctors had determined that he had a brain tumor. With admiration - Jill recounted Kris's bravery and dedication to his job. She explained that Kris decided to schedule chemo treatments in the evenings so that he could continue working - to be with his extended family of fellow workers.

Jill was clearly touched by this tragedy. She stated that Kris's family has asked that we respect their privacy. And she acknowledged that - since there was clearly a need with most of us to pay our last respects - she hoped at some point ... the family would allow us - Kris's "extended family" a way to formally say our good-byes.

2-12-04 :   Termination - another kind of death -

Dan, our plant manager - held an unscheduled meeting this morning. He called this special meeting to make an incredible announcement:

   KRIS IS NOT DEAD!!!   

SHOCK ?  DISBELIEF !  ANGER !  RELIEF !

I have waited a week to write about this subject, in part, because I wanted as much confirmation as I could gather (Short of launching my own private investigation.).
I won't wade into the flood of my emotions; one can probably imagine the gamut my feelings traversed.

Betrayal

Observing the technicians and office staff following the announcement - it was as if they had gotten the "wind knocked out of them" - from a great fall. Many seemed dazed and confused.

Kris had made personal one-on-one connections with so many people here. A week of heart-felt sadness and tears was transformed into anger and cynicism.
Though Kris lives, one might wonder what he "killed" with his masterful manipulation?

Why?
Rumor has it that Kris was unhappy in his job and chose this method of "resigning".
Was it a parting act of revenge? ... Or was it an act of social suicide resulting from hidden insecurities; from failings in his work?...

Forgiveness
Sifting thru that "gamut" of emotions - I'm left (mercifully) with forgiveness - and even - empathy for Kris.
Kris put hundreds of people thru "hell" - for about a week.
But, we will move on.
Kris - on the other hand - must live on with - not only the memory of this outrage - but, the demons of his personality that led him to this tragic "end".

I wish him well.

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Kris    posted:  2-08-04

I was told that Kris died.
At the beginning of our work shift this morning, a supervisor brought us into a meeting room. This was unusual. Was there a shake-up in the company; did someone lose their job? Was there a public relations issue; a scandal?

The supervisor covered a few short housekeeping items ... and then his tone changed.
His voice broke has he announced in a very direct fashion that Kris suffered a brain aneurism ... and did not survive the operating table.

I sat thru this solemn statement, thinking, "Yes, it is sad - one of our 300 or so technicians passed away. .... Who was it again? .... not someone I actually know? .... last name sounds familiar... tech 1216 ? .... sounds familiar????

It took several minutes for the reality to trickle past the fog of my early morning mind.
In fact, its taken all day and into this evening for the realization to sink in.

I'm very confused.
As an old bachelor, I've somehow managed to insulate myself from many of life's "realities". People die every day, but seemingly never anyone I know. Is my confusion fueled by a fear lurking deep inside me?
I don't know how to feel.
Its hard to accept - - I won't see tech 1216 at work tomorrow? .... Its hard to believe ... I won't ever see him again - because his life has been extinguished.

It's very embarrassing to admit that I'm not sure; I think that Kris was a fellow classmate. I went thru training a little over three years ago. Class enrollment was sort of open and ongoing; we didn't all start and complete on the same date. I think Kris may have been in the class that followed mine. Close enough - I felt we shared a beginning. We both started out on the same team - under the same strict (to a fault) supervisor.

Hell-of-a-Kid
Apparently some of the guys called Kris "Slim". I've never been one to call people by nicknames. In fact nicknames - at least in the work place - seem to be pretty unusual anymore. I wonder if that doesn't help to make my point that maybe there was something special about Kris?

Kris was a slender kid in his early twenties. He had a way with people. Many a time I observed him engrossed in a private conversation with a wide variety of people. He seemed to have his finger on the pulse of the social under current of the shop. He was handsome, earnest, considerate, light-hearted, hardworking - a ready volunteer.

What am I doing?
I didn't think I was going to reveal "to much information" - on a personal level on these pages. But, I feel that I've got to get it out. And personal - or not, death is a subject that may be a little to well hidden by most of us.

I don't intend this as a eulogy. If that's what it is - so be it. But it won't be sugar coated.

Kris and I were on the same team (under the same supervisor). There were times when I felt he was competing against me.
I believed that Kris was trying to use his charm to endear himself to our supervisor. I think that the sup actually came to the same conclusion - over time. So, first I must admit that I was annoyed by Kris's abuse of his social talents. This was a source of friction between myself and Kris.
But, I think Kris actually changed in the last year or two. It may be that this young man discovered - that as an adult - in an adult world - manipulation of people was a dishonesty - not worthy of him and the people he wanted to interact with.

My last memory of Kris.
About a week or so ago, I was walking up to an automatic door with my arms full. The door requires that I "swipe" my badge to open it, but of course my arms were full - necessitating a little juggling to get my badge out and swipe it - not a big deal. I noticed Kris standing outside about twenty paces away from the door. But, again - opening the door was not a big deal for me and it never entered my mind to ask Kris to open it for me. But, as I did my little juggling routine - "Slim" suddenly appeared at the door to help me (the old man) open the door. Kris - a young man with a good heart.
Kris touched a lot of people. Tears have been shed in our workplace. He will be missed.

PLEASE CLICK HERE FOR AN ASTONISHING REVELATION - REGARDING KRIS'S PASSING

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Month Two - Year One    posted:  2-02-04

Healthy Wealthy and Wise
For this month's quote - I turned to a favorite book, Benjamin Franklin - The Autobiography and Other Writings (L.Jesse Lemisch).
Thumbing thru this worn old paperback - it dawned on me that this great man (my idol, hero, invisible mentor, kindred spirit ... okay .. I guess you get the idea) -- is probably, subliminally, the inspiration for this web project.
Its been a few years since I've read his work, but I do believe his ideals embedded themselves in my spirit. Though, it may be that Mr. Franklin's beliefs blended - in accord - with sentiments that have always been a part of my subconscious.
Benjamin Franklin "walked the talk" of:  service, co-operation, hard work, and sacrifice for the greater good.
My perceptions of Mr. Franklin are primarily based on the images that he has "composed" for public consumption. As time goes on, I'm hoping to learn more about who Benjamin Franklin truly was. He was, after all, just a human being.
Still, even tarnished a little, I think the man will still be shown to be extraordinary - a renaissance man who inspired honest exploration of the world around us; aspiration to self-improvement; and social responsibility.

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